Breakfast Fairies Revisited

Dad spent the last ten years caring for my mom as she battled Alzheimer's Disease. The last three or four Mom was unable to care for herself and Dad took on the role of serving all of her needs. Morning, noon and night he cared for her. He bathed her. He dressed her. He fed her. His entire life was consumed by the care he gave my Mom. Taking on both the physical and emotional stress and refusing to never once consider raising the white flag and agreeing to put her in a facility.

I can not imagine how he summoned the courage to do it day in and day out. His only breaks were quick jaunts to Austin while my sister Debbie cared for my mom so he could get a few days away. That was his life and I imagine for a lot of people they would have considered it a most miserable existence for both of my parents. Somehow I don't think either of of them felt that way. In fact the lessons in love that were learned if you watched those two over these past few years would soften even the hardest of hearts.

I used to worry that my Dad was alone in his care for my mom. None of us kids live exactly close to Albuquerque where they live. I worried that Dad's almost daily constant push to get mom out of the house was taking a toll on them both physically. After all it would take quite an effort to get mom in and out of a car and into a restaurant.

However I now know it was those quick trips to Starbucks or those lengthy trips to their favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner spots was exactly what was needed. Although it took mom forever to eat a meal (2 hours would not be unheard of), my dad would sit there patiently feeding her one fork or spoonful at time all the while chatting away about this and that - despite no return conversation.

It was during these many times that something incredible happened. Mom and Dad inspired people along the way. Countless people came up to them and offered stories of their own battles with an aging spouse, parent or grandparent. They would shake my dad's hand and offer a gentle pat on Mom's back. They would let him know he was not alone and how lucky my mom was to have such a caring and loving steward at her side.

Rarely a month went by without Dad calling excited to share a story of their meal magically being bought by some stranger. Sometimes the strangers would reveal themselves but more often than not they didn't. Endless numbers of waiters, waitresses and even bus boys would buy my parents dessert with their tip money. Not to mention those restaurant owners and managers that would just end up tearing up their check and telling Dad "Your money is no good here!"

Dad eventually ended up calling these folks his Breakfast Fairies thanks in part to a note that he received after one meal. It read, "caregivers need care too!" signed the Breakfast Fairy.

Yes I was worried my dad was alone in his care for my mom but have since come to realize he never really was.

As I went home for my mom's funeral we went to all of their old eating spots. One by one I watched dad share the news of my mom's passing. Waiters, waitresses, regular customers at more places than I can count gave hugs, told stories of Dad's care for Mom and just how inspired they were by him and mom. It was then I realized these people whom were strangers to most were more than that to my parents; they were family.

I have no idea how many meals along the way were purchased for my parents but it was a lot. I know Dad was at first unnerved by this outpouring of kindness, not exactly knowing how to respond, especially when the Breakfast Fairy preferred to remain anonymous. Eventually he grew comfortable with these gentle but ever so meaningful Ripples offered by others and he soon jumped in becoming a Breakfast Fairy for others himself.

As the days and weeks have passed since Mom's funeral, I know dad has found comfort in going to his old haunts. The outpouring of love and care that people have showed him these past few weeks and ultimately these past few years has to warm and heal his heart. That makes the distance between us almost bearable in my mind.

It doesn't take much to make a indelible impact on someone's life. If you take nothing more from this post than this...know you have the power to make someone feel special and loved. It just may be exactly what they needed to know.

Be a Breakfast Fairy and pick up someone's check next time you are at breakfast, lunch or dinner. The Ripples you create will undoubtedly come back to you!

Heck if we all do it, we may really start something here!

Ripple On!!!

Here are links to a few previous posts on the Breakfast Fairy topic.

http://swotvision.blogspot.com/2007/05/breakfast-fairly-challenge.html

http://swotvision.blogspot.com/2007/05/breakfast-fairy-challenge-part-two.html

http://swotvision.blogspot.com/2007/09/breakfast-fairy-strikes-again.html

Fourth of July Memories From The Past

I love the Fourth of July. For me it still brings back the memories of my childhood shooting off fireworks of all kinds. Oh the memories of bottle rockets, smoke bomb grenades and of course we can't forget the almighty yet deceptively powerful Lady Finger. That little powerful stick of mini-dynamite was used by me and my buds to blow up everything from our matchbox cars to little plastic cowboys and Indians.

I would undoubtedly awake on a morning like this full of excitement and anticipation. I would dress quickly and hop on my bike to meet up with one of my pals for a day of blowing stuff up out in the mesa near our house. Far away from the watchful and surely disapproving eyes of pesky parents. My friend Kevin had a super cool dad who happened to have a great connection at the fireworks stand. His dad would buy us an entire arsenal of fireworks firepower that today would get us surely picked up by Homeland Defense. We would come up with some of the most elaborate situations and things for which to rein terror over. It was a blast and it was a culmination of countless hours of planning, meticulously scenario development and conspicuous annihilation of anything that stood to be blown up.

Oh how I miss those days.

The Fourth of July for kids today is so different. Perhaps it's my old age and the fact that now I wear those disapproving eyes of a parent but I can't help but feel that somehow the fun of this holiday has been taken somewhat from the youth of today. Probably a good thing knowing my two boys. I can't imagine either of them playing with the high powered and potentially fatal fireworks that my friends and I once handled. The mere thought of either of my boys handling matches, let alone something that could blow up gets my legs a wee bit wobbly to be honest.

So as I sip my coffee this morning I will simply regale the boys with the exploits and adventures of a misspent youth; perhaps leaving out some of the sexier details that could get two boys' imagination riled up. And somewhere deep down inside I will feel that pang of yesteryear and smile to myself knowing how special this day was for me and how special, albeit different, I need to make it for those that I love now.

But hey Kevin...if you happen to read my BLOG and your dad still has a connection at the fireworks stand, I know a place we could blow some stuff up. I'm just saying....

Here's hoping you and yours have a very safe and Happy Fourth of July!!!

Ripple On!!!

Author's Unscripted Interview

I was recently interviewed by Stephen Bell of Author's Unscripted about how my book came about and how I ultimately became "The Ripple Guy." Stephen is an extremely interesting guy and his take on networking the right way is very similar to mine. He is an inspirational guy helping get some great entrepreneurs some excellent exposure. Check out his work at www.networkingmasters.com and also at http://infwa.com


In case you are interested, here is my interview:

http://infwa.com/authors-unscripted-talk-show-steve-harper/

Have a great weekend and as always....

Ripple On!!!

Are You Above The Line In Your Relationships?

At any given point in any relationship we hold a status.

That status could be above the line which means we are proactively taking steps and making effort to deepen, strengthen and grow the relationship.

That status might be towing the line which means the relationship is sort of stuck in neutral neither growing nor backsliding.

Or the status in some relationships might be below the line which means no active steps are being taken by either party to maintain, much less expand, the relationship. As you can imagine below the line is bad news for a relationship because it means it is likely in the process of dying.

I created this quick and dirty reference system to help people make a quick assessment of their relationship status. It's no coincidence that it happens to correspond with the stop light. The colors mean something and hold as much relevance to how you drive your car as to how you should drive your relationships.

Ripple Point To Ponder

Write down ten connections you have in your network. Now list out where your relationship with those connections fall on the line. Next, decide if where the relationship falls is commensurate with your expectations for where you want to see this relationship go. Perhaps status quo or towing the line is just fine with you...maybe it isn't.

Remember Grasshopper just because a relationship is headed a particular direction right now does not mean that you can not proactively alter it's course tomorrow.

Ripple On!!!

Does your organization struggle with how to build better relationships either internally or externally? I've developed an entire training seminar around key points like the relationship status line and leveraging the power of the Ripple to build better, stronger relationships for companies. Drop me a line at steve@ripplecentral.com or give me a call at 512-577-3700 if you think your company would benefit.

What In The World Is An 8 Minute Ripple?

Several years a few buddies and I were sitting around over beer and chewing the fat. One of my friends asked me what I planned to do to promote my book. Other than speaking occasionally and hoping that somehow the book sale Gods would shine down on me I hadn't really give it much thought. The more we chatted the more I realized that despite these guys being my friends and readers of the book, most of them were struggling with the practical application of how to Ripple.

As I am prone to do I immediately grabbed a pen and a napkin and started mapping out the various impactful ways Rippling could be applied to their social and business connection efforts. The more I drew the more the conversation and beer flowed. As the night wore on what I realized was the book was useful for those who could read it and immediately understand the application of it...but for some, including my now inebriated friends, it was clear a physical example of the power of social connection might be needed.

The idea of Rippling as an event was born.

To be clear my initial goal was to illustrate to people that connections come in all shapes and sizes and often through people we would least expect. I desperately wanted the 8 Minute Ripple to be viewed as a distinct departure from the "traditional 'so what do you do' networking" events which had been the bain of my existence up to that point. I wanted to give people a real life example of the power of social connection and how much more successful it is when you don't allow prejudgement or some pressing business agenda to cloud the view of people you encounter.

The event was simple...no business cards. No quippy 30 second spiels about what you do. No sales pitches. No posturing. No telling people where you live, what car you drive, where you went to school, what degrees you hold, etc. Nothing that denotes anything of "status."

Why? Simple! When we don't bring those things up the pressure is totally off. Our prejudgment tendencies stay in the barn. Our competitive dander stays down and most people open up their eyes and ears and really get to experience others for who they are...not what they are. The Ripple truly humanizes the process of connecting.

It's been several years now since that first event. Clearly we've made some changes along the way to enhance the experience for our participants but the approach and the goal still remains: demonstrate there is a better way to build your personal and professional network and it can be done in a fun and pressure free environment with individuals you absolutely want to meet and get to know. It worked for my beer buddies and I suspect if will work for you and yours as well!

Here's hoping if you you might come check out a future Ripple!

We have an event occurring on June 25th 6:30-8:30 in Austin. Come out and see what all the fuss is about. More details are available on my website at www.ripplecentral.com And if you know anyone in career transition, definitely encourage them to come to this Ripple as the approach to connecting can and will teach them how to open doors to that next job opportunity!

Ripple On!!!

Will You?

Imagine the person who crossed your path today, tomorrow or perhaps next week holds the very key to your destiny.

You would not miss the chance to meet that person...would you?

You would not want to outright ignore them...would you?

You would not look away when they smiled at you....would you?

You would not return the kindness of their good morning...would you?

You would most certainly not make the time to spend a few minutes getting to know them...would you?

Well, would you?

Here's the thing folks...those people exist for both you and me. They are still out there...somewhere! They are just waiting for the right time and the right place to make their appearance and literally cross our path. They will certainly be looking for us...and secretly hoping we will be looking for them as well.

The question isn't would you? Nothe better question is...will you?

Will you...take the time to treat each and every person that crosses your path with the care, compassion and openness that destiny looks for?

Will you...actively seek to explore why those who have crossed your path are there?

Will you..take the time, make the effort and keep a watchful eye for anyone and everyone who enters your life?

Will you...actively look for and seek out opportunities to engage and connect with everyone regardless of who they are or what they can or can not do for you?

I bet you will and when you do that's when the keys of destiny start rattling in the pockets of those we most need to meet.

Ripple On!!!

Overwhelming Love & Support

I have finally found an opportunity to get away from my parent's house and grab a cup of coffee and spend some time reading the literally hundreds of emails, Facebook messages and Twitter Tweets offering prayers and well wishes for me and my family. To say that I have been overwhelmed by the love and the support would truly be an understatement! Dad shed a few tears today as I shared with him just how many of you have reached out. He was truly touched as was I by the outpouring.

I have no idea what the richest guy in the world must feel like but right now I am rather certain I am way more wealthy because of the people I am lucky enough to have in my life. Without a doubt these past few days have showed me how truly rich and fortunate I am.

I simply had to say thank you for that!

I hope to craft a more "normal" BLOG post in the coming days but right now I am emotionally spent and words other than thank you are hard to come by. So I leave you today with just this....

Thank you for coming into my life. The love and support that so many of you have showed me reaffirms that my choice to pursue Ripple in the ways that I have not only was a good decision but truly is my calling.

Hugs and Ripples to each of you from Albuquerque.

Ripple On!!!

P.S. Mom's (Janet EillenHarper) obituary in case you are interested in reading it can be found at: http://obits.abqjournal.com/obits/page/2

Memorial Day & My Friend Phil

Memorial Day is our opportunity to thank those who have or are actively serving in our military. It is also a time to remember those fallen soldiers who have paid the ultimate price to preserve the very freedoms we as a nation enjoy. To find true American heroes one needs only to look at the fine men and women who regardless of rank, branch of service or past or present position offer themselves to preserve the very virtues this country was founded on.

Of course we don't need just one day to give our military the thanks they so justly deserve. We should all be humbled by the sacrifices these fine men and women have made on our behalf. We should also search out and find ways each day to say a heartfelt "thank you" when you see someone who has or is serving in the military. Take the time to say thank you and to offer them a firm handshake and a warm pat on the back for a job well done. Tell them how much their individual commitment and dedication to protecting your rights and your freedom means to you and trust me the Ripple of your actions will undoubtedly make their day.

Having the willingness to open up and say thank you may just lead you to make a friend like I did. Sergeant Phil Burke's son Kevin and my son Zachary became friends and ended up on the same football team. I remember meeting Phil for the first time as our wives swapped stories about this and that at one of the first games. He seemed reserved - almost shy but none-the-less very polite and respectful.

Over the course of the next few weeks at various practices and at games we would exchange occasional hellos but not much more. I noticed he would not say much to any of the parents and often hung back, still rooting for his son, but almost from a distance. Knowing that he had just recently returned from a tour in Iraq I was interested in getting to know him so I just started walking up to him and chatting him up. At first I felt his uneasiness, sort of like he was thinking what's this guy's angle?, but because I wanted nothing specifically from him, other than a friend to hang with at the games, I began to see his tough bravado soften a bit.

Over the course of the past year Phil and I have become quite good friends. He is truly one of the good guys. His loyalty to his family and his commitment to his duty inspire me in ways that words won't do it justice. Despite our drastically different backgrounds, I believe we add something unique to one another's lives. Couple that with our passion for sports and even more healthy passion for beer, I can easily say he's become one of my best friends.

A few months ago I learned that Phil was being reassigned to another base in Washington State. He would be assigned to a specific unit that would be deployed back to Iraq in the fall. Although we've talked at great lengths about the burden this will put on his wife, Kevin and their newborn baby girl, I know that Phil faces what lies ahead with conviction and determination in his heart. Me on the otherhand I am left with a very sad heart feeling somewhat robbed of the friendship I have come to count on. I know that friendship won't be gone, it will just be different.

I believe Phil came into my life at the time that he did for a variety of reasons - too many to mention in this BLOG. So my friend Phil and all those like him, on this Memorial Day, I say with heavy and humble heart thank you for the service that you give to this country and for my family's freedom. I promise we will never take it or you for granted.

On a personal note...Phil, a new chapter in your life is about to unfold. I'll keep a watchful eye out and always be there for your family my friend. Just know that no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, you've got a friend in me!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXARdPb4YBs

Hurry back so we can resume our nights of story swapping, lie telling and beer drinking. I'll keep the beer on ice.

Ripple On!!!

Me & My Work Environment Survey

So calling all readers...I need your help.

Trying to get some specific information from you about your work environment. Was hoping you could help me out. Please take a moment to check out my survey entitled Me & My Work Environment. Your responses are invaluable to a study I am working on regarding employee engagement and company culture.

Please take 3 minutes to give me your valuable insight and if you would....would you forward this BLOG or link to at least 5 other professional colleagues, friends or family?

Here's the link: http://tiny.cc/wQn5m

Thank you in advance for your help!

Ripple On!!!

Take New Trails

Last week I was chugging along and ventured onto the new hike and bike trail extension that had opened earlier this year. Despite a limited time to ride in the mornings I anxiously wanted to see where this new path would lead - heck I passed it a dozen or so times since it officially opened. As I peddled into my new adventure what I found was an incredibly beautiful new path full of great little hills, big trees and a a whole host of wildlife which I am sure came out to greet only me.

The trail was long and without any sense of how far it went I continued to peddle. My head said I needed to stop and turn around - this little adventure was playing havoc with my typically militant schedule. Despite a bit of initial trepidation, I refused to let the pull of my "need to get home" overcome my sense of exploration.

The harder I peddled the more amazing the morning seem to become. The sun was just coming up and there was a gentle coolness hanging in the air. The smell of dew on the grass and a area full of wild flowers filled my nose with a sweet pleasant aroma (and I was quite certain a delayed allergy attack). It felt like the morning had been created just for me and it was an incredible feeling.

I rode until I found the end of the trail and then I turned back, slowly, disappointed that the journey was over. As I began to peddle back towards home my thoughts turned to my initial hesitancy to venture down the new path. I thought about how initially my mind crept to my lack of time - I had a thousand things that needed to be done. I thought about how I hadn't built into my schedule extra time for an extended ride. I thought about my initial concern about going down a trail I had never been down before.

Then it hit me. This trail, this ride and my decision to take the new path had been offered to me was both a gift and as a lesson. You see unless we shake out of our "typical ways of doing things" and take a different look, try a different approach or do things in a different way, we will never grow beyond where we are right here right now.

So my friends on this fine Monday morning....take new trails...create new adventures...learn new things....and push yourself beyond your "typical." A world of amazement awaits you.

Ripple On!!!